Last Sunday's message on Relationships focused a good bit on forgiving others...a difficult, yet essential step to maintain healthy connections with the people in our lives. I leave with you thoughts by Henri Nouwen on this topic.
We are all wounded people. Who wounds us? Often those whom we love and those who love us. When we feel rejected, abandoned, abused, manipulated, or violated, it is mostly by those very close to us: our parents, our friends, our spouses, our lovers, our children, our neighbors, our teachers, our pastors. Those who love us wound us too. That's the tragedy of our lives. This is what makes forgiveness from the heart so difficult. It is precisely our hearts that are wounded. We cry out, "You, who I expected to be there for me, you have abandoned me. How can I ever forgive you for that?"
Forgiveness often seems impossible, but nothing is impossible for God. The God who lives within us will give us the grace to go beyond our wounded selves and say, "In the name of Jesus you are forgiven."
So forgiveness means that I am continually willing to forgive the other person for...not fulfilling all my needs or satisfying me in some way. Understanding that our human companions and associates are limited and cannot fulfill my needs is helpful. Actually, that is God's job and many times we project that task onto others. Knowing that I am limited and cannot meet the needs of others helps me to be gracious toward them when they fail me, knowing that I'm just like them. It also compels us to turn more fully to God, the One who has promised to meet all of our needs. Humans cannot offer us what only God can give.
...So let's exercise this great spiritual weapon against the Evil One. For as long as we remain victims of anger and resentment, the power of darkness can continue to divide us and tempt us with endless power games. When we forgive those who threaten our lives, they lose their power over us...and we who have loved poorly will find new beginnings in our relationships and come to understand more and more that forgiveness is the great work of love among the fellowship of the weak...the abundance of love which has been freely given to us and from which we freely want to give. Adapted
Indebted,
Mitch
