The pain of conflict isn't always a bad thing. It can be a springboard for all involved to grow and learn more about ourselves and those we may struggle with. With our Pastor informing us that conflict is in the air, I've thought much, prayed much and am trusting for a resolution that will give God glory. I'm reminded of the words of Abraham Lincoln in his second inaugural address with regards to the conflict that he was entrusted by God to oversee..."...The Almighty has his own purposes. Fondly do we hope, fervently do we pray, that this mighty scourge of "war" may speedily pass...that we strive to finish the work...bind up the nations wounds...care for those who have bourne the battle and do all that may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves....
"I'm not a Quaker, but greatly respect those dear people. I leave with you some gleanings from them that could serve to be a guide to all....
The first skill of conflict resolution is naming: being clear and honest about the problem as I see it, stating what I see and how I feel about it. What is important about these statements is that I own them: "I see," "I feel."
...The second skill is the skill of listening: Listening not just to the words, but to the feelings and needs behind the words...; being truly open to what we're hearing (even if it hurts); being open to the possibility that we might ourselves be changed by what we hear.
The third skill is the skill of letting go: I don't mean that in the sense of giving up, lying down and inviting people to walk all over us, but acknowledging the possibility that there may be other solutions to this conflict than the ones we've thought of yet; letting the imagination in - making room for the Spirit. We need to let go of our own will - not so as to surrender to another's, but so as to look together for God's Solution. If we are to do any of these well - naming, listening, letting go - we need to have learned to trust that God will do that in us personally and that He will do this in all of those trapped on all sides of the conflict with us.
When we seek truth, right, or communion rather than victory, my adversary is precisely the teacher I need...so that my truth deficiency can be corrected with the truth to be found in my adversary's position....
And finally, James 1:19 says, “…Let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger…” Amazing advice for every moment of our lives.
I thought this would be good for all to hear and consider.
I love you all.
Mitch
