Christmas, being what it is in its true sense, stirrs many things in us. Many emotions press their way to the surface when we contemplate Christmases past, present and hopes for the future...emotions strong enough that "beg" for tears. Unfortunately, tears in our culture, are not well perceived in most situations and usually seen as weakness. And when we find ourselves feeling "on the brink", we steel ourselves to maintain a composure that is deemed most acceptable, especially from those supposedly more mature and wiser.
But why? Why does anyone wrestle to achieve this type of restraint when most of us would admit that deep feelings are worthwhile and noble. Why is there shame in being moved by memories, present realities or joys? What do we have to gain by the "grown up" exercise of forcing tears back into the inner parts of our being?
Long before any of you knew me, there was a hard and emotionally controlled Mitch [along with all the negatives that go with this culturally imposed facade]. But, I came to a defining moment where I asked God to give me genuine tears, the ability to feel and express those feelings. And those of you who know me, know that He did it...I've never been the same since.
Of course, it took me a while to get used to the idea...time to become comfortable with my tears...but I did...and continue to be, even in places where it is misunderstood...and it is. But I can't tell you the joy that has come by being moved in the many things that God allows to come my way and feeling the freedom to let my eyes respond to my heart in those moments, whether it is beauty beyond description, relational disappointments, losses, gains, fears, pain my friends are going through, and yes, the broad spectrum of feelings associated with Christmas and its message, family and the possibilities of a New Year to come.
I've made up my mind, I'm finished with the phony "adult male decorum". I believe spiritual maturity would never deny anyone the widsom and pleasure of proper emotions and their healthy release. In my opinion, it is good at every season, and especially this one.
Love, joy, wonder, sympathy, concern, compassion, all the emotions of Christmas past, present and for its future, deserve to be seen if they seek to be. Life is too short to sacrifice meaningful moments by stiffling their fullest expression.
Christmas and all we feel in it, is too valuable to quench in the name of self-control or to maintain image. Our family, friends and close associates deserve to know our deepest feelings. There is no good reason to shield our dearest from our real selves, unless it be the the lame reason of a tiresome pride, over-wary of "emotionalism".
It has taken me many years to get where I am...I plan to hang on to it. I'll continue to pursue maturity, but a maturity that can disclose heartfelt feelings about life's precious things. And who knows, as time goes on, I just might become grown up enough to really be a child at Christmas again. I think God would like that....
A heartfelt Merry Christmas to all of you...because I am...
Indebted,
Mitch
(Several thoughts and text adapted from "Come and Behold Him" by Jack Hayford)
